The only time I threw a CD, a good CD in terms of music and lyrics into the trash was ‘Détroit’…

This was after I had watched videos about the life of Bertrand Cantat… but the more I delve into everything about him and the violent events surrounding him, the more I get lost and think I see that alongside all the misery and revulsion, there are too many people with preconceived notions and judgments wishing to present an image that I question. So I left it at that; I will never discover the truth. Away with the CD…

What also astonishes me is that, after he beat his ‘amour fou’, Marie Trintignant, to death out of presumably blind jealousy, too much alcohol, and total loss of mind, his wife returned to him. What do you do with a great love; why did his wife return to him only to subsequently commit suicide in sheer desperation.

Well, Cantat had served his sentence and apparently initially behaved exemplarily, but after a while he regularly abused his wife. Can great love lead to self-destruction?

It's what fatally damaged my image of him.

I don't know if he still performs; I certainly won't be seeing him. I can't say with absolute certainty whether all the facts are accurate, but there are limits. And according to the information I have, he has crossed them.

Furthermore, everything has such a whiff of sensationalism. I do not watch TV programs where they dig into the private lives of famous people.

I state this while reading a biography of Michelangelo…

I have also read those of Francis Bacon, Willem de Kooning, Rembrandt, and Caravaggio, amongst others… and then there are the letters of Vincent van Gogh. But I attempt to read critically.

For many, there is a so-called difference between a ‘normal’ human being and an artist. I don't feel that way; I don't feel any different from others, because I paint and delve into my soul. The idea of the tormented artist, the bohemian, doesn't really appeal to me.

Although I also find it difficult to empathize with people who choose the safe, quietly flowing life; the life without highs and lows, with a house, a car, and perhaps a boat or a second home in Catalonia.

I believe that to create a good work of art, you have to push your boundaries, try to transcend them. This certainly applies to me. But the realm you can then enter is not without risks. Especially if you apply this principle to everyday life, or if one thing bleeds into the other.

Is there a disconnect between making art and everyday life?

Isn't the realm of value the realm of absolute values, the realm where for example death also manifests itself?

It got me thinking again.

Seen from the other side; the art that arises from provocation/unwanted confrontation: Mauro once told me he couldn't watch ‘Last Tango in Paris’ anymore because of the (simulated) rape. Maria Schneider wasn't told what was about to happen, with Bertolucci's goal being to provoke an authentic reaction.

Click on the image to go to the interview concerning this scene.

The film would now have led to prison sentences for both Bertolucci and Brando. Times have rightly changed.

Was this necessary? Was Maria Schneider not a good actress? Why? Was Bertolucci looking for absolutely authentic emotions?

Apparently, Brando was going through a dark period in his life and was known for his intense acting. See his scene at the bedside with his dead wife. And that was all acted.

It makes me question ‘method acting’. As Laurence Olivier apparently told Dustin Hoffman during the making of the film ‘The Marathon Man’, you shouldn't overexert yourself with a severe lack of sleep; you could simply act it out, evoke it within yourself…

Click on the image to go to the trailer of the movie.

Most probably Maria Schneider could have provoked the emotion within herself.

I attempt to insinuate things. To bring forth the drama that exists in my head. Art is the evocation of emotions. And as Proust once said about his ‘À la recherche du temps perdù’, you did not read about his memories but relive your own: ‘Every reader finds himself. The writer’s work is merely a kind of optical instrument that enables the reader to discern what he might never have seen in himself without this book.’ And this has often happened to me.

I have regularly shouted at the book.

When I create a good painting, I hope that the viewers find themselves in it, rather than merely accepting what I depict and feel as mere information.

Especially in my FIESTA series (and also much of my older work), I try to show the darker sides as well.

I think of Jung’s remark: ‘One is not enlightened by imagining all kinds of images of light, but by becoming aware of one’s own inner darkness.’ And: ‘A man who has never gone through the hell of his passions has never conquered them either.’ And: ‘Every step closer to my soul provokes the scornful laughter of my devils, those cowardly ear-whisperers and poisoners.’

It means a lot to me; art can thus also have a function. I made this sketch in 1997.

Image of a sketch made in 1997 about the monster/devil my back.

John Berger once said that Caravaggio’s paintings show the strongest link between death and sensuality. Besides his revolutionary light-dark way of painting drama and his ‘verismo’, it is that quality that makes his works so fascinating.

Caravaggio was able to evoke that because his character was what it was. I won’t go into much more detail here; I have spoken about that so often already. But that quality thus gives charge to his works.

And with Cantat, that is possibly the case as well…

What reassures me is that my paintings stand between me and the viewer. It is a ‘safe’ way of communicating. I stand far removed from both Cantat and Bertolucci.

Regarding Cantat’s CD: I bought it because of his version of Leo Ferré’s ‘Avec le temps’. It is perhaps my life song. And his version is poignantly intense.

Below is the video of Cantat’s ‘Avec le temps’.

De enige keer dat ik een cd, een goede cd voor wat betreft de muziek en de teksten, in de vuilnisbak heb laten verdwijnen is ‘Détroit’…

Dit was nadat ik video’s over het leven van Bertrand Cantat had gezien… Hoe meer ik me verdiep in alles over hem en de gewelddadige gebeurtenissen rondom hem, hoe meer ik verdwaal en denk te zien dat naast alle ellende en walgelijkheid er te veel mensen met voorop gestelde doelen en oordelen een beeld wensen te geven waar ik vraagtekens bij zet. Dus heb ik het erbij gelaten, achter de waarheid zal ik nooit komen. Weg met de cd...

Waar ik ook met verwondering naar kijk is dat, nadat hij zijn ‘amour fou’, Marie Trintignant, dood heeft geslagen uit vermoedelijk blinde jaloezie, teveel alcohol en totale verstandsverbijstering, zijn vrouw naar hem terug is gegaan. Wat doe je met de grote liefde; waarom is zijn vrouw naar hem terug gegaan om vervolgens totaal wanhopig zelfmoord te plegen?

Goed, Cantat had zijn straf uitgezeten en schijnt zich aanvankelijk voorbeeldig te hebben gedragen, maar na enige tijd zijn vrouw regelmatig te hebben mishandeld. Kan een grote liefde leiden tot autodestructie? Het heeft de fatale kras op mijn beeld van hem gegeven.

Ik weet niet of hij nog steeds optreedt; ik zal hem zeker niet gaan zien. Of alle feiten werkelijk kloppen weet ik niet met absolute zekerheid te zeggen, maar er zijn grenzen. En die heeft hij volgens de gegevens die ik heb overschreden.

Daarnaast heeft alles ook zo’n geur van sensatiezucht. Ik kijk niet naar tv programma’s waar men het privéleven van beroemde mensen uitspit.

Ik stel dit, terwijl ik een biografie over Michelangelo lees…

Ook heb ik die over onder andere Francis Bacon, Willem de Kooning, Rembrandt en Caravaggio gelezen… en dan zijn er de brieven van Vincent van Gogh. Maar ik poog kritisch te lezen.

Er bestaat voor velen het zogenaamde verschil tussen mens en kunstenaar. Ik voel dat niet zo, ik voel mij niet anders dan de anderen, omdat ik schilder en in mijn ziel wroet. Het idee van de getormenteerde kunstenaar, de bohemien staat mij niet echt aan.

Hoewel ik me ook niet goed verplaatsen kan in mensen, die voor het veilige rustig voortkabbelende leven kiezen; het leven zonder hoogte- en dieptepunten met een huis, een auto en wellicht een boot of tweede huis in Catalonië.

Ik geloof dat om tot een goed kunstwerk te komen je je limieten op moet zoeken, je grenzen moet proberen te overschrijden. Het geldt in ieder geval voor mij. Maar het gebied waar je dan in terecht komen kunt is niet zonder risico’s. Zeker als je dit principe ook toepast op het dagelijkse leven of als het een in het ander overloopt.

Bestaat er een breuk tussen kunst bedrijven en het dagelijkse leven? Is het waardevolle gebied niet het gebied met de absolute waarden, het gebied waar de dood zich ook manifesteert?

Het heeft me wederom aan het denken gezet.

Gezien vanaf de andere zijde; de kunst die ontstaat door provocatie/ongewilde confrontatie: Mauro vertelde me ooit ‘Last Tango in Paris’ niet meer te kunnen zien vanwege de (gesimuleerde) verkrachting. Maria Schneider was niet verteld wat er te gebeuren stond met het doel van Bertolucci om een authentieke reactie te provoceren.

Klik op de afbeelding om naar het interview te gaan over deze scène.

De film zou nu hebben geleid tot gevangenisstraffen voor zowel Bertolucci als Brando. De tijden zijn terecht veranderd.

Was dit nodig? Was Maria Schneider dan geen goede actrice? Waarom? Zocht Bertolucci naar absolute authentieke emoties?

Naar het schijnt beleefde Brando een zwarte periode in zijn leven en stond hij bekend om de intense wijze van acteren. Zie zijn scène aan het bed met zijn dode vrouw. En die is gespeeld. Misschien had Maria Schneider de emotie ook in zich op kunnen roepen.

Het doet me twijfelen aan ‘method acting’. Zoals Laurence Olivier ooit tegen Dustin Hoffman tijdens het maken van de film ‘The marathon man’ schijnt te hebben gezegd, was dat je niet jezelf oververmoeid moest maken door een groot tekort aan slaap, maar het ook gewoon kon acteren, bij jezelf oproepen…

Klik op de afbeelding om naar de tariler van 'Marathon Man' te gaan.

Ik poog dingen te insinueren. Dat wat in mijn hoofd aan drama bestaat tevoorschijn te halen. Kunst is het oproepen van emoties. En zoals Proust ooit zei over zijn ‘À la recherche du temps perdù’ is dat je niet zijn herinneringen voelde maar je eigen: ‘Elke lezer vindt zichzelf. Het werk van de schrijver is slechts een soort optisch instrument dat het voor de lezer mogelijk maakt te onderscheiden wat hij zonder dit boek misschien nooit in zichzelf zou hebben gezien.’ Dit is mij vaak overkomen.

Geregeld heb ik staan schreeuwen tegen het boek.

Als ik een goed schilderij maak, hoop ik dat de toeschouwer zichzelf erin vindt, niet slechts wat ik afbeeld en voel voor kennisgeving aanneemt..

Zeker in mijn FIESTA reeks (en ook veel ouder werk) probeer ik ook de zwartere kanten te tonen. En dan denk ik aan Jungs opmerking: ‘Men wordt niet verlicht door zich allerlei beelden van licht voor te stellen, maar door zich bewust te worden van de eigen innerlijke duisternis.’ En: ‘Een man die nooit door de hel van zijn hartstochten is gegaan, heeft ze ook nooit overwonnen.’ En: ‘Elke stap dichter bij mijn ziel wekt het smadelijke gelach op van mijn duivels, die laffe oorfluisteraars en gifmengers.’

Het betekent veel voor mij, kunst kan zo ook een (wassende) functie hebben. Deze schets maakte ik in 1997.

Een schets gemaakt in 1997 over het monster op je rug.

John Berger zei ooit dat Caravaggio’s schilderijen de sterkste band tussen dood en sensualiteit tonen. Behalve zijn revolutionaire licht-donker dramatiek en zijn ‘verisme’ is het die eigenschap die zijn werken zo fascinerend maken.

Caravaggio kon dat oproepen omdat zijn karakter was wat het was. Ik ga hier niet veel verder op in; daar heb ik het al zo vaak over gehad. Die karaktereigenschap geeft lading aan zijn werken. En bij Cantat is dat dus mogelijk ook zo…

Wat mij gerust stelt is dat mijn schilderijen tussen mij en de toeschouwer staan. Het is een ‘veilige’ manier van communiceren. Ik sta ver van zowel Cantat als Bertolucci.

Over de cd van Cantat. Die had ik gekocht is vanwege zijn versie van ‘Avec le temps’ van Leo Ferré. Het is misschien mijn levenslied. En zijn versie is schrijnend intens.

Hieronder de video van ‘Avec le temps’ van Cantat.

Life waggles its tail.

For now, all is fine. I paint and that always keeps things in place.

While I am working on FLOWER 069 I scribble away in my sketch-blocks. Whereas with the FLOWERS I show my astonishment about all the beauty that surrounds us, in my sketch-blocks, I copy great masters (to learn, possibly steal from them) and pin down surprising looks on life.

I have written about my sketch-blocks more than once. Here’s a series of recent results that popped up in my confused happy head.

2026:

1 ‘Otje did something on the table.’

2 ‘Guillotine: I lay my head down, never liked my filthy body.'

3 ‘This Jesus is missing a leg, clumsy Michelangelo should have read the instructions a bit better.’

2025:

4 ‘No botox in my face! I don’t want to look like a pity full blown up Block Head Barbie Doll Dad.’

5 ‘Mine is black, yours is green, want to trade?’

6 ‘Egon Schiele trying to construct an Ikea cupboard.’

And last but not least:

7 ‘Not very inspired, so why not draw a pretty woman?'
Sometimes a pretty woman can seduce me in making a sketch on a not so very fruitful day. She can make my day…

And now for the BIG EVENT: Gala played in a short movie. I LOVE IT. The style is the NOUVELLE VAGUE (in the fast lane).

I thought it was a scene from the movie ‘Jules et Jim’ by Truffaut that was quoted the other way around. I was wrong (and should have read the opening text a bit better...). In ‘Jules et Jim’ there is also great running scene.

click on the image to see the running.

The one that inspired the short movie with Gala is from ‘Bande à part’ by Godard. And that scene is also quoted in ‘The dreamers’ by Bertolucci.

click on the image to see the running.

So talking about pretty girls and the happy crazy surprises in life: Gala is the intellectual actress discussing existential matters of life with great legs! Run, baby run!!!

Click on the image below to see the short film.

Enjoy! (Should I pick up running?)

As an extra I could not not show this scene from ‘Bande…’

February 23, 2026, Barcelona.

A very nice Christmas present was the biography ‘VERMEER, a life lost and found’ by Andrew Graham-Dixon.

I read it and… it was not really my cup of tea. Because there is so little known about Vermeer himself and why he painted what he painted, Graham-Dixon made an enormous effort to find out about the world around him and his possible motives as a reaction to it.

Some of it I know; the history lessons I had to sit through in school about those ‘brave’ Dutch people during their eighty years war for independence against Spain. Eighty years… that is a very long time. And in that period Amsterdam became the richest city in the world. It riddles me… how can during a never ending war people speak of the Dutch Golden Age?

It is the period that the Dutch started to cultivate tulips. How is it possible that in a period of war rich merchants sometimes bought a tulip bulb for the price of a house? Clearly I know nothing about wars and the effect it may have on the very wealthy.

Quite ironical, not long ago I stumbled upon the portrait of 'our' great Dutch independence hero Willem of Orange in Madrid in the Thyssen-Bornemisza museum. This may have had to do with the fact that the baron Thyssen-Bornemisza was born and brought up in The Hague...

I myself was brought up in a ‘hervormd protestants’ environment, so even there much sounded familiar in the book.

Protestant churches… hardly any religious art to be seen inside. Sober, white… So the churches didn’t order many religious paintings… the rich merchants filled the hole by buying ‘genre’ paintings; flower still lives, domestic scenes, landscapes, sea scapes, night landscapes, portraits, you name it. My art history teacher told that during this period in the Dutch Republic the ‘genre’ paintings were born.

It is certainly a great eyeopener that most of Vermeer’s works carry a religious message in this very turbulent period of the Dutch history, both physical as spiritual. His paintings were hung in houses that served as meeting places for a protestant and very open minded sect. So they are not really ‘genre’ paintings (what they were seen as till now?). They may be considered as religious ones disguised as 'genre' paintings...

I have never really put two and two together. I now see Vermeer as an island of serenity and silence in a world of violent conflicts.

Two of my heroes are buried in protestant churches; Rembrandt and Vermeer.

I belief what Graham-Dixon found out, but my interest is always more directed towards the how instead of the why of paintings. Having seen the documentary ‘Tim’s Vermeer’ by Tim Jenison sort of covered that area sufficiently.

click on the image to go to the trailer of the documentary.

And then there are the book by Philip Steadman 'Vermeer's camera' and the book by Hockney ‘Secret Knowledge’.

There was no news about Vermeer's painting technique unfolded in the biography.

Graham-Dixon’s biography about the life and works of Caravaggio I consider one of the best ever written about an artist and his work. But instead of Caravaggio, Vermeer lead a quiet and sheltered life… he must have been a very balanced person with a clear, modest and down to earth opinion. It shows up in the ‘smell’ of his works. Vermeer himself remains a distant echo.

I steal wherever I can from my heroes and Vermeer, how odd this may seem, is absolutely one of them. And not only by using an image for making a joke or as an exercise…

I remember my talk with Mauro after his visit to the Netherlands and him having seen Vermeer’s works there as well as the ones of Rembrandt. I asked him which painter he liked most and his answer was Vermeer. Of course the question was stupid, but it made him make this great remark that Vermeer to him looked at the world like an alien. And here too; what can we know about aliens?

I will not go too deep in all of this. We had a great exchange of thoughts. Too bad we cannot continue anymore… 

So should one read the biography? Yes, absolutely. Again I was stupefied by the very subtle beauty and accuracy of his work, this time seen from a slightly different perspective. And as with all the great works of great painters, they inspire me and question my own works.

Working on my ‘FIESTA VI’ I see it is never enough and what might the the hidden message?

finished?

In the same period that I read the book, somebody showed interest in my paintings. It turned out that he wanted to buy my works in a digital way, and as NFT images. I told him that this is not my world. Digital images or NFT’s do not pay any homage to my paintings or anybody else’s. I hope that my answer made him reflect on how one should appreciate certain art.

As well as not long ago somebody asked to immediately see a work of mine on my mobile. I wanted to be polite, so I opened my webpage and showed one. Apart from the fact that after a very quick glance (she was pleasantly surprised, that I must say. And it was during a party, so some excuse can be allowed) she turned her back to me to talk to somebody else two seconds later.

This is so much not my world…

I have had the luck to have seen Vermeer’s paintings many times in the real and went to the two big overall exhibitions with his works; the one in the Mauritshuis (2X) in 1996 and the one in the Rijksmuseum (2X) in 2023, but it is never enough…

Books are just a reference. In the near future I will need to go to the Netherlands for an assignment and then I must see his paintings again…

as last treat, a short video with Andrew Graham-Dixon talking about his book.

Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

In this period I always get a bit sentimental. Actually the last day of the year and the first of the new are just like any other day, only difference is that many shops are closed (I should not forget to buy wine in time!).

I stopped celebrating new years eve (as my birthday and other), if not for my daughter.

These days are often nice work days, everybody else is having a hard time with the family, eating too much and whatever.

I look back, check my site, the stories on my site. That is good, some don’t work properly anymore.

The one: HOUSES AND STUDIOS SO FAR (2021) I couldn’t open. Why, I don’t know. So I rewrote it. And this one was full of MEMORIES! It is holiday time, so click on the gray word and read (quite a life I have had so far, you will not hear me complain!)...

Since 2023 my life took yet another turn. I had to find a new place to live, move from my paradise in Utrecht. To find a new home and studio in the Netherlands is quite impossible if you don’t have a million euros on your bank account.

Thanks to Rosa I ended up in Barcelona once again!

In my text that ended in 2021 I told that I didn’t find the strong stimulations here as I had felt in other places before. I think it is save to say that, apart from my status in Barcelona as a married man for a long time, the other reason is that I have turned much more inward looking.

I notice a certain lack of desire/need to see people/new cultures. This must have come with the growing of the years. Too many times I think to have seen it before, experienced it. Instead of entering another terra incognita I want to deepen what I see, feel, do. This means to look more inward. Even though I find Hokusai the greatest draftsman, I have no desire to study the culture/art of Japan. That would take me at least thirty years to get to a satisfying result and I don’t have the time or mental space for it anymore.

Yes, I still buy lottery tickets hoping to be able to buy a house in Italy, but it has become more a game than a real desire.

So I am back in Barcelona. This time I live on the edge of town and I love it. The house is a little paradise, check out the photo above! People are not too eager to visit, it is ‘far away’. No tourists, no city noise, I can work and live in peace. The studio is a dream. And for the first time in my life I have a garden! There is still a lot of work to be done, I don’t have green fingers yet… and there is always a painting that screams for attention…

I have a 'FIESTA' painting on the way, that shows big promisses and two canvasses that will be filled with flowers. Future, here I come!

Barcelona, December 21, 2025.

Italy… What is that, Italy and me? Why do I always get so sentimental?

I went to the consegration of the ‘Regina Pacis’ in Velletri for which I made the crucifix. It happened on the 9th of November.

I flew into Rome and stayed one night near Termini Station, not the most charming neighborhood in Rome. Normally, I'd look for a place to sleep in neighbourhoods like Trastevere... but I didn't have much time; I was only staying until the next afternoon.

I took the opportunity to meet Alberto (click on his name to go to his site) in Rome. He was Mauro's (click on his name to go to his site) house photographer, documented all his buildings. I bought a photo from him, something I'd promised him years ago but, being a good bohemian, couldn't fulfill. Now that I'm a retired bohemian with a pension, I was finally able to fulfill that promise. I'm showing the photo here in small format, hoping he'll let me.

The morning before my appointment with Alberto, I visited the Palazzo Massimo (click on the name for information). There, I saw this archaic Etruscan statue from around the fifth century BC. In the late 1980s, I was fascinated by the expressive gaze of statues from that period and made a series of gouaches with a similar gaze (I steal where I can). I rummaged through my archives but couldn't find a single image, except for this failed sketch... I was simply too much in love with her surprised gaze to capture it properly.

It must have been in 1987 that I saw the frescoes of Livia's room (wife of Emperor Augustus, click on the image to see the video), and I wanted to see them again. It was quite a climb up the stairs, and I was coming down with a bit of the flu. So when I filmed the video and forgot to mute the sound, it sounded like a rather tired old and cranky man walking through the room... SORRY!

I found a good restaurant nearby the night before my departure. And it was near Termini, quite a stroke of luck.

I rented a lovely apartment in Velletri. A very sweet and helpful hostess... the only 'problem' was that it was in the old town and that to get there, I had to climb a steep hill... even more panting…

I arrived a few days before the consegration. The crucifix had arrived two days earlier, and I thought I might have to assist with hanging the painting. It's hanging free from the walls by wires. Fortunately, it wasn't necessary; it was already on its spot.

Some people were busy cleaning the space. And everyone was full of praise for the crucifix. I think I struck a deep chord with this work.

Unfortunately, I have little to report about Velletri. I spent most of my time in bed with a book (the flu...). I ate a lot of mozzarella, though.

I love having breakfast outdoors. A cappuccino with a cornetto. It's something almost everybody does. At one bar, the lady behind the counter turned the cappuccino into a work of art.

It was almost a shame to drink it…

On November 9th, the church was consecrated. Everybody was there: a choir, the mayor, the bishop, some military men with a lot of medals on their chests and the whole parish.

Click on the photo to see the entire process, from the making of the crucifix to the display in the church.

I went home feeling a better person.

My life here in Barcelona is quite pleasant, I have a great house with a studio in a quiet neighborhood on the outskirts of the city, but those few days have made clear that I'll need to spend some time in Italy again in the near future.

Last week I spent four days in Madrid and visited five museums.

It was great, almost too much (during my last museum visit, I had to drink two mojitos just to be able to wander around for another two hours).

The Prado, the Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum, the San Fernando Academy of Fine Arts, the Reina Sofia, and the Spanish Royal Family collection.

the Prado

Since there was so much beauty to admire, I'll keep quiet about it, otherwise this blog would descend into endless praise. But there is one painting and especially one detail I want to highlight.

Velázquez had a slave, whom he portrayed. That portrait hangs in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. I admire the painting immensely; I've made several sketches after it to learn and see where the magic of the portrait lies.

The slave's name was Juan de Pareja. He was a painter too. I've always been curious about what he made. One of his paintings hangs in the Prado. In that canvas, ‘The Calling of Saint Matthew,’ he portrayed himself. I've finally been able to see and compare his self portrait to the one Velázquez made of him. Is it a wonder I prefer Velázquez's portrait?

'The calling of saint Matthew', the detail showing the self-portrait and the portrait made by Velàzquez.

At the Reina Sofia, I was tickled by nostalgia. It reminded me of my visits to the Stedelijk Museum when I was around 16. The art in the Reina reminded me of what I used to see at the Stedelijk.

Back then, I watched everything with tingles of excitement, now I found much of it dated; a revolution from an earlier era with a thick layer of rust on it.

The many videos shown there were a joy to watch. I finally saw "Un Chien Andalou". Of course, there's the scene with the eye being sliced open with a razor (seen many, many times). I couldn't really get into the movie; the plot was too fragmented, like disjointed sand.

And a must was seeing the Guernica.

‘Un Chien Andalou’ (click on the image to see the scene with the eye).

I visited the Royal palace. Initially I had planned to visit the Escorial; I think I was right not to go. I wandered through the Royal palace, went from one opulently decorated room to another, but it didn't really do much for me.

Royal palace

A real stroke of luck was finding a barber just a stone's throw from the palace. Barely a window, just the name above the door; that gave me hope, and once inside, I knew it was good. 14 euros… a bargain.

He also indicated me a good lunch spot, I sat among the locals.

One evening I went to one of the many tablaos (all claim to be the oldest in Madrid). Sometimes I think flamenco has become too entrenched/drowned in tradition. It revolves around a few themes. And then… I've never seen a woman play guitar… especially in these times, I'd say something should be done about it…

There was endless applause, that's part of the event (the dancers sweated a lot). To me it seems difficult to sing and dance your heart out night after night, and do it in exactly 58 minutes (timed it).

Flamenco: I really like Diego el Cigala; click on the image below to enjoy a video. And yes, he's taken some wonderful side roads. (I want to buy a suit like his someday; maybe I can find one when I'l be back in Madrid.)

Diego el Cigala, click on the image to go to a video with Diego.

Still, it can also be done in the traditional way and be great (I must have seen this video a 100 times, but it still makes me extremely happy).

Click on the image to go to the video.

Besides all the art, I was able to relax in the botanical garden.

My Airbnb stay… a bit awkward… the owner of my rented room in question, is a true Andalusian and was former an agent of flamenco shows. Unfortunately we couldn't find common ground. She didn't really understand my passion for painting and, quite rightly, refused to recommend a tablao.

I have to thank my dear Gala for finding this young lady.

Click on the image for the video.

There is hope for the flamenco future! Normally I'd post an extra video below the blog, but for some reason I can't seem to find another one of Rosalia that I am allowed to show, the ones I'd like to post get blocked. So, here's this interview instead...

I'm busy constructing the crucifix (a commission for a new church in Velletri, Italy) and the wooden frame around my bed. So, not much painting… I'm on the periphery of painting, nostalgically busy sawing, gluing, and sanding.

Hence this blog post about a museum I visited not so long ago. I made an ultra short (business) trip to Aalst, Belgium. I wasn't supposed to leave, but money breaks all laws. Travel will be only possible after the cross is done. I bought a couple into Dutch translated novels and visited the Museum of Fine Arts in Ghent.

What a treat! The museum doesn't have the reputation of the National Gallery in London or the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. It doesn’t have the famous names, except perhaps for Hieronymus Bosch's ‘The Way of the Cross’ and a few French paintings from just before Impressionism.

I once had a reproduction of Bosch's painting hanging in my room. I must have been 14 years old.

Speaking of ancient art, the museum is currently restoring ‘The Ghent Altarpiece (Adoration of the Mystic Lamb)’ by Hubertus and Jan van Eyck. It's fortunate I was able to admire that work a few years ago. Now I will have to wait a year and then I'll make the pilgrimage; it's one of the most beautiful altarpieces ever created.

And what else was there to see… as I said, many names of lesser repute; magnificent works by Alfred Stevens, Emile Auguste Carolus Duran, Henri Fontin-Latour (though more well-known), André Cluysenaar, Frans van Holder, Felice Casorati (what's he doing here?) and Theo van Rysselberghe. Many of them lived around the same time.

Among the sculptors, there's a head made by Rodin in plaster and bronze, and a head of a girl by Rik Wouters.

There aren't many works by Wouters around; he died at the age of 33. There's a ‘Nel’ in the stairwell of the Kunstmuseum in The Hague (it once stood next to the entrance of the Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam. It's probably not ‘contemporary’ enough...), I saw ‘Het zotte geweld’ (The Crazy Violence) in Middelheim and a few paintings here and there. When I stayed at Nat’s in Brussels, I often caressed Wouters's bronze self-portrait before going into town. I have a soft spot for his work. Information about him on Wikipedia: click on one of the two images below.

Rodin's head was a study for the sculpture group ‘The Burghers of Calais’. Initially, the city wanted to buy a copy of that sculpture group, but it was too expensive. Therefore, they decided on a study of a head of that group in plaster and bronze.

This museum deserves a wider audience; it was wonderfully quiet. Perhaps this blog post is a ‘mistake’; it's so wonderful to wander the rooms without visitors taking selfies and making the most absurd comments…

I'm showing some of that beauty (there's so much more!) in the video below, and this time I'm not revealing who created what. I'd like to see all the nameplates removed from museums one day a week, so you can enjoy everything without prejudice. Not knowing if they were created by one of those geniuses and so you pause to look at them because they are beautiful, not in utter adoration, because created by a great master...

I don't care about reputations. Even by ‘gods’ like Rembrandt or Goya there exist works I find hideous. While ‘lesser’ artists sometimes create something that glows in the dark. It's about the painting itself, not who created it or when.

There was so much to see here, created with such tenderness, subtlety, and knowing cleverness...

To give an example: once at the Gare d'Orsay I thought to see a ‘Manet’ gleaming from afar. It was a painting by Eva Gonzales... I was delighted to discover a new ‘goddess’...

Besides all these beautiful things made by deceased artists, there's the ‘Cigar Box’... In this space, Patrick van Caeckenbergh has created a small, quirky parallel world. I approached two attendants and was allowed to go inside.

I had to tell them what a special place it is where they work... we agreed to meet again on my next visit...

Enjoy the video!

Ik ben bezig met de constructie van de crucifix (opdracht voor een nieuwe kerk in Velletri, Italië) en de houten omtrek om mijn bed. Weinig schilderen dus… ik zit in de periferie van verf, ben ‘nostalgisch’ bezig met zagen, lijmen en schuren.

Vandaar deze blog over een museum dat ik niet zo gek lang geleden bezocht heb. Ik bracht een bliksem (zaken)bezoek aan Aalst in België. Eigenlijk mocht ik niet weg, maar geld breekt wetten. Reizen kan pas na het kruis. Ik kocht een paar in het Nederlands vertaalde romans en bezocht het museum voor Schone Kunsten in Gent.

Wat een feest! Het museum heeft niet de reputatie van de National Gallery in Londen of het Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. Het hangt niet vol met de beroemde namen, behalve misschien ‘De Kruisweg’ van Jeroen Bosch en een paar Fransen van vlak voor het impressionisme.

Van het schilderij van Bosch had ik ooit een reproductie in mijn kamer hangen. Ik zal 14 jaar zijn geweest.

Nu we het toch over oude kunst hebben, in het museum wordt ‘Het Lam Gods’ van Hubertus en Jan van Eyck gerestaureerd. Nog een geluk dat ik dat werk een paar jaar geleden heb kunnen bewonderen. Nu nog een jaar wachten en dan ga ik op bedevaart, het werk is een van de allermooiste altaarstukken ooit gemaakt.

En wat was er nog meer te zien… zoals ik al zei, veel namen met een beperktere reputatie; prachtig werk van Alfred Stevens, Emile Auguste Carolus Duran, Henri Fontin-Latour (wel meer bekend), André Cluysenaar, Frans van Holder, Felice Casorati (wat doet die daar?) en Theo van Rysselberghe. Velen levend in ongeveer dezelfde tijd.

Van de beeldhouwers is er een kop gemaakt door Rodin in gips en brons en een kop van een meisje door Rik Wouters.

Van Wouters bestaat niet veel werk, hij stierf voor zijn 34ste jaar. In het trappenhuis van het Kunstmuseum in Den Haag staat een ‘Nel’ (ooit stond ‘Nel’ schuin naast de ingang van het Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam. Het zal niet ‘contemporain’ genoeg zijn...), ik heb ‘Het zotte geweld’ in Middelheim gezien en een paar schilderijen hier en daar. Als ik bij Nat in Brussel logeerde streek ik vaak over Wouters’ zelfportret in brons voor ik de stad inging. Ik heb een zwak voor zijn werk. Informatie over hem op Wikipedia: klik op de afbeeldingen hieronder.

De kop van Rodin was een studie voor de beeldengroep ‘De burgers van Calais’. Aanvankelijk wilde de stad een kopie van die beeldengroep kopen, maar het was te duur. Vandaar dat ze uitkwamen op een kop van die groep in gips en brons.

Dit museum verdient meer publiek; het was er weldadig stil. Misschien is deze blog een ‘vergissing’, het is zo heerlijk  door de zalen te dwalen zonder bezoekers die selfies maken en de meest onzinnige commentaren geven…

Ik toon een deel (er is zo veel meer!) van al dat moois in de onderstaande video en deze keer geef ik niet weer wie wat gemaakt heeft. Een idee van mij is dat in een museum eens in de week alle naambordjes verwijderd moeten worden, zodat je van alles genieten kan zonder vooroordeel. Niet wetende dat iets gemaakt is door een van die genieën en je dus stil blijft staan kijken omdat het een prachtig schilderij is en niet in opperste aanbidding, want gemaakt door een grote meester...

Ik geef niet om reputaties. Zelfs van ‘goden’ als Rembrandt of Goya vind ik sommige werken om te schreeuwen zo lelijk. Terwijl ‘kleinere’ kunstenaars soms iets maken dat gloeit in het duister. Het gaat om het schilderij, niet door wie het gemaakt is en wanneer.

Hier was zoveel te zien dat zo teder, subtiel en wetend slim is gemaakt...

Om een voorbeeld te geven: ooit was ik met Rufus in het Gare d’Orsay en dacht een ‘Manet’ van verre te zien glimmen. Het bleek een schilderij van Eva Gonzales… Ik was blij met de ontdekking van een nieuwe ‘godin’…

Behalve al dit moois gemaakt door dode kunstenaars is er de ‘Sigarendoos’... In deze ruimte heeft Patrick van Caeckenbergh een kleine eigenzinnige parallelle wereld geschapen. Ik schoot twee suppoosten aan en mocht naar binnen.

Daarna moest ik ze vertellen in wat voor een bijzondere plek ze werken… we spraken af elkaar tijdens mijn volgende bezoek weer te treffen...

Geniet van de video hieronder!

‘One does not become enlightened by imaging figures of light but by making darkness conscious.’

‘The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.’

‘Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.’

Three quotes of Carl Jung. I can be a not so nice person, I know that. But what does one do with such knowledge…

Sometimes I think that if I would not have my painting, I’d be an alcoholic or even worse. I have my very dark sides. Fortunately I have this channel that gives me the liberty to express the darker me and stay human.

We all ‘know better’. In the world there are many black places, things are happening that I totally disagree with. It is easy to criticize or to turn your back to all this darkness. Are we heading for a (western) world where only violence pays off, where the ultimate truth is money/power? I fear so.

And then I look at Goya and Francis Bacon. They maybe did not change the world around them, they did not practise politics and (in Goyas last paintings) did not refer to their present events. They just showed the horror, the ignorance.

(Goya)

Audience listening to a speech from the ‘enlightened’ ruler of the 'Free West'?

I have always been fascinated by especially Francis Bacon, this might be because I see the dark forces behind the everyday sweet facades.

(Bacon)

Compassionate leader of the 'Free West'?

Around 1990 I found ‘my language’. I gave voice to my demons.

paintings from 1989 and 1990

Ever since this way of representing my view on life has accompanied me.

The move to Barcelona gave me the ‘BULLS and BULLFIGHTS’. And the ‘VOLCANOS’ reappeared.

bulls, bullfights and volcanos

Nature… I have two ‘very sweet cats’, but if they could they would kill ‘sweet little birds’. I didn’t turn them into vegan animals (a totally ridiculous thing to do; who says a nut doesn’t have a will or desire to become a tree?). And for me an ultimate is the volcano. We can be busy bombing nuclear power-plants, but if a tsunami hits or a volcano erupts, we are nowhere.

Ok, let’s get back to my comments on the very limited human life. The latest ‘BULL 074’ is done (we seduce animal gods into dancing the dance of life and death with us) and there are FIESTA 004 and 005.

bull 074 (91 x 121,5 cm)

fiesta 004 (200 x250 cm)

fiesta 005 (92 x 73 cm)

I felt the need to make them.

In the video at the end of the blog you see the development, the studio, the artists that inspire me, from whom I steal.

Apart from the two mentioned above, I find in Michelangelo this force that wants to break through the surface. He changed the anatomy to make his images stronger than life.

Michelangelo sketches

When I look at his work and that of Raffael and Da Vinci, I wonder. They worked for the most sadistic rulers. Da Vinci even made war machines. How do you combine that with let’s say his Madonnas?

Da Vinci

detail madonna and child and war machine

Raffaello Sanzio

I always thought that this was quite an evil person…

I have the commission for a crucifix for a church near Rome… Luckily they did not ask me to invent new weaponry…

Enjoy the video. Don’t worry, they are only paintings... And of course you can go to my site (click on the grey word to go to the site) and see the paintings and details.